I am Shelly. I am 31 years old. I have been dealing with bullies my entire life. The biggest bullies in my life were my parents, mainly my father.
Now I am a writer and motivational speaker standing up to the abuse of my family. I have been writing my memoir for several years now.
I nearly died in a car accident that lead my parents to tricking my boyfriend and I into putting our stuff into a storage unit in an attempt to blackmail me for money.
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I finally put my foot down to the abuse I had known my entire life (both violent and emotional abuse).
I had to go through a lawsuit suing my parents for all of our stuff.
You would think after all I have gone through the other people in my life would be happy to be supportive, and instead other bullies have crawled out of the woodwork and tried taking advantage.
One such friend sent me a letter tonight. Her birthday was yesterday and due to only having one car, which my boyfriend is using to go to work out of town, I was unable to mail her card and present. Not being a Facebook obsessed person, I didn’t get on yesterday. So I got on tonight because I was going to send her a message and explain her present was on its way. Instead I found she deleted me, as well as all of our mutual friends deleted me. Then thirty minutes later she messaged me this: Dear Shelly, I have never in my life met anyone like you before. You are selfish to the core! Yesterday was my birthday and you couldn’t even message me to say happy birthday, I don’t care about presents or cards, showing someone that you care by wishing them a happy birthday is all that matters, and you couldn’t be bothered! All you care about is yourself, you preach to people about forgiveness and yet when I forgave you after all the shit you put me through you throw it back in my face, and it was nothing to do with you forgiving me because hunni if you opened your stupid self centred eyes you will see that you are the one that needed to be forgiven and all you did was take advantage of good people. All you wanted was a present wasn’t It? Because since giving you those earrings I have not heard from you. So transparent you have become. You don’t deserve people like me in your life, one day you will wake up and realise that you don’t actually have any friends because you’ve pushed them all away! Ignore this message like you do all the others, because you are too much of a coward to admit who you really are and actually say sorry (sorry is a word you will never understand) Love Cat P.s I wonder if you will use this as another sob story to get by in the world? You can add it to the rest you use to get free things and play on people’s emotions!!
I replied with a short message:
Right. I actually got on your page today to say happy birthday and I was no longer your friend. And I did have a present for you. But Joel is out of town working and I could not mail it yet. And messages, I am guessing you are referring to emails, which I do not check regularly. You are the one that has become oh so very transparent.
Her message hit me at a very difficult time. I battle every day to be stronger than my emotions. It is very hard to relive the past day in and day out for two years. But I have vowed to tell my story both for my sake and for inspiring other people.
This friend knows I am racing against time to complete my memoir. She knows in August I discovered my father added cancer to the list of other diseases he has. I worry every day I will not get my memoir complete in time to at least be able to show my father that I was courageous enough to tell my story and that I am making a difference in other people’s lives. Most importantly I do not want my father to die believing I am the “ungrateful daughter” he calls me. I love my family very much, and I have learned to forgive the past.
Yes the memoir is for me, but it is also for them. I would like them to know change can happen and it begins in our acceptance of who we are, and in the telling of our story.
How dare my supposed friend send me hate mail for missing her birthday by one day.
Though it feels literally like a stab to the heart to read her words, I am thankful for the gift she gave me this year. She taught me a valuable lesson in who my friends are not.
I share this because we are all facing bullies. But it is especially hard when you are a person standing up to the BIG BULLIES in your life and more line up to knock you down.
Don’t back down. Don’t back down for a second. Stand with your head tall, and know they are attempting to knock you down because they see something powerful in you that they want to annihilate.
My voice is no longer easily silenced.